crossbowsandbowties: jon-egbert: bundy-ramirez-dahmer: Remember duck duck goose? If that wasn’t the most anxiety inducing game ever then I have no idea what is. musical chairs #no #musical chairs was a battle to the fucking death#that game was training us for the hunger games #THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE VICTOR #GET OFF MY CHAIR BITCH
Person in book: I'm not pretty. I'm average looking. People never really notice me.
Person in book: he's unattractive but has got beautiful eyes
Movie industry: no, we're hiring supermodels
pirouette-off-the-fucking-handle: a-kid-from-your-school: Did you know on average the human body needs 8 positive touches a day to survive? This includes: hand shakes, a hand on the shoulder, a hug, a kiss. etc. So you people saying, people that are depressed are just upset because they don’t get attention, in a way, you’re right, when your body lacks positive touches it can stunt your growth...
dany: [says something in dothraki]
missandei: no, khaleesi
missandei: it's pronounced "jif"
undergreatwhite: ringostarring: ok, new theory. maybe we should play so quietly, no one can hear us well maybe we would sound so bad if some people didn’t try to play with big meaty claws what did you say, punk? bIG MEATY CLAWS WELL THESE CLAWS AIN’T JUST FOR ATTRACTING MATES BRING IT ON OLD MAN, BRING IT ON no people let’s be smart and bring it OFF OH SO NOW THE...
a-suspicious-looking-person: I don’t get people on tumblr, you can all write five paragraphs analyzing a single look one character gives another but then for formal essays you’re all like
i-need-light-in-the-dark: rikkisixx: i-need-light-in-the-dark: can someone like keep a tally of how many hipster posts the fandoms have ruined? omfg. you win.
spookthempolitely: when i first got my tumblr i was a huge fucking dork and i enabled that thing that puts your tumblr posts on your facebook but then i forgot that i did that and reblogged a post that said “reblog if your dick is as big as the universe” and my mom was like “oh my” and my great uncle saw it and commented “that’s my girl” and i have never been so done in my life
I'm Chinese, so I wonder if non-Chinese understand
eponinenjolras: salvadorolliesout: superjellycake: mydollyaviana: that in the Chinese version of Disney’s Mulan, the fake name she gives is “Ping”, but her family name “Fa” in English is “Hua” in Chinese, therefore her full name is “Hua Ping”, which is literally “Flower Vase”, and that’s why Shang is so bewildered because it’s a silly name. but OP how could you not tell them the...
ambassador-of-anguish: shouldertappingghosts: If I was a famous author I would publish a book with ten different endings which all went to print with varying degrees of rarity, but not tell the fans about it so that I could watch their confusion as they disagree over how the story ended. Then when they figured it out I would ‘come clean’, telling them that I had released eleven alternate...
egberts: viarga: just-laff: egberts: if i ever met a genie i wouldnt wish for a million dollars id wish that whenever i bought something i’d always have the right amount of money to pay for it in my pocket you are one of the great thinkers of our time Then you’d look at a house and be like “oh damn I wanna live there” and millions of dollars would be in your pockets, crushing and...
hunters-in-the-sherlocked-tardis: deatheaters: people rant about teenage characters being portrayed by grown up actors but i’d like to know how exactly did this happen that 65 years old alan rickman played 38 years old severus snape HE’S 65 YEARS OLD?
How rape trials should go:
Lawyer: Did he rape her?
Witness: Yes, but she was drunk and passed out.
Lawyer: That's not what I asked. Did he rape her?
Witness: Yes, but she was wearin-
Lawyer: I didn't ask what she was wearing. Did he rape her?
Witness: Yes, but-
Lawyer: I didn't ask anything else. It's just a simple yes or no answer. Did he rape her?
Laywer: Yes, he raped her.
Rape is rape is rape, no matter the context.
psychoticpingouins: 48 years ago a girl said “oh fuck me” to her best friend while walking in the street, a guy who randomly passed by answered by “let me at least buy you dinner first”. I present to you my grandparents, in love since then and celebrating their 47 years of marriage today.
treatyoselfartie: simplyadorkable-jae: grotesquelylovely: renistyle: andallthatcas: let’s all take a moment to appreciate the fact that this guy has been with us our entire lives from all that to good burger to kenan and kel and now snl he has stayed with us from childhood to adulthood god bless you kenan thompson and hes not strung out on drugs or whoring...
dirkkat: “why do you ship that? it’s never going to be canon”
sourwolf: it’s ironic that tumblr loves a film about how exciting and amazing it is to be outside #well she didn’t have wifi so outside was the next best thing
revolution-before-evolution: has this been done or
fefeferi: when u accidentally hurt ur friends feelings and they insist that its fine but u know it isnt